i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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