it wasn't lemon gatorade
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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