weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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