is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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