What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
