In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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