On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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