Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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