Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
