dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
