I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
