this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
