Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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