Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
