ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
