Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
