Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
