I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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