what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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