4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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