All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
