I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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