Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
