You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
