brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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