im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
