I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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