I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
