So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize