***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
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