I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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