Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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