Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I got inside last night via doggy door
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
