so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
