Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
