I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
