I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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