drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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