I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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