it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
