Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I need water and some morals
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
