You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
