All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Who died my cat blue again?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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