I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
This couple is walking their pig around campus
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
