Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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