I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
my poor anus
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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