Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry nferguson hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(248): View more from Michigan

i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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(703): View more from Virginia

nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase

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(507): View more from Minnesota

security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?

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(956): View more from Texas

found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training

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(303): View more from Colorado

Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.

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