I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
