I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
