Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize