Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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