i wish my penis had a tongue
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
