But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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