I hate your face
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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