It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
