O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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