Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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