On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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