i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
