i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize