I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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