Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize