guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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