For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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