white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
