i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
