No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
