question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just want to make out with him forever
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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